new directions, new places, learning more of glass and my passions, I find myself a man that has staggered into incredible fortune, I have met and fallen in Love with a wonderful woman, and her wonderful son! I have recently realized that I struggled a bit with letting go and living in the moment. this holliday season has been difficult to say the least for the brown family, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer and has undergone surgury, but there is light at the end of the tunnel, as Christmas approached, we recieved the greatest news in the world, there is no evidence of cancer in her limphatic tissue! and through all of this difficulty and more dissasters I could ever describe in a single blog entry, Candice and Brian have been right by my side and I realize that as this day unfolds, that I am happy and content as a family man with family to love!
I have done a lot of things and been to a fair number of places in my days, but never in all my time and adventures, have I ever met a woman I connect with so deeply and so completely, as this holliday season progresses, I realize that I am complete and happier than I have ever really been, but it has come at a cost, I have poured myself completely into this new relationship and family, and as we become a family unit for and to each other, my time for blogging and making youtube videos is becoming scarce. I have also retired from film work and photography and am focusing all my time and life energy into my glass work and being a better man for my girl and our boy as well as trying to be a good man and father for my daughter. I continue to strive for perfection and battle with my manic problems. I am learning daily about personal streangth and perservierence being with Candice.
Candice, Brian and I have moved to the middle of nowhere, we live litterally off the grid with battery storage, inverters, and generator, propane water heater and stove and propane fridge, we are looking to move closer to town and trying to find ways to better ourselves. My holliday season has also included one of the best memories and sharing moments of my life. I have always been a very pasafistic person except for a period in my life when I was obsessed with martial arts. when I was a young child I was out shooting pellet riffles with a good friend, Jason Peterson, Jayson was trying to shoot birds and kept missing, I finally took aim at a robin on a fencepost and took the shot, the bird fell dead, and I dropped my pellet rifle and ran inside crying knowing that I had taken life. but this year I learned that hunting can be an incredible bonding moment for a father and son, and I see how impactfull the experience can be, I jokingly had stated that we should grap the 22LR rifle and go rabbit hunting as a family activity. Brian thought this was the best idea of all time, so I loaded a magazine, as Brian convinced Candice to get out her compound bow, and Brian donned the hand made belt knife I gave hime for his birthday and as a family we went out and began to search the property for a jack rabbit, time passed, and eventually Candice found herself sitting on the front porch as Brian and I walked, talked, and looked hap hazardly for a rabbit, the universe found favor with us and as I came around a Juniper tree I noticed movement and a large rabbit hopped out into the clear, I took aim as Brian noticed the rabbit, and fired a round, the rabbit did one front flip and came to rest, brian and I approached and brian removed his belt knife, I found myself calling out “rabbit dinner” to let candice know that we had been successful, Candice came to see as Brian and I were kneeling over the rabbit, I made sure the animal was dead and cut open an artery to drain it, over the next hour I found myself teaching myself to field dress a rabbit based only on reading a survival book years ago durring a dungeons and dragons game to stave off boredom, while skinning the rabbit and cleaning it, I managed to spray blood all over my own face making Candice declare that I indeed looked like a serial axe murdurer, the image of Candice, Brian and Myself standing around a rabbit strung up from a juniper tree in our driveway, looking like nutcase hillbilies cleaning a rabbit will forvever serve me as a blessed and precious moment, we carved the rabbit and tried it fried and discovered that rabbit stew is the SHIT! and I learned that spending time with my new son is the coolest thing and gift I could have ever recieved in my life!
So as time passes I will try to return to my roots of blogging and slef expression, but I will be balanced from now on, for I know that my family and time with them is more important than making videos. I Love you Candice and Brian!
Happy holidays to all!








